just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
