your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
