So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
