apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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