i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
