She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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