I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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