Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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