ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
