So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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