What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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