it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
