But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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