Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
