New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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