worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
