Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
