This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
