this boner is exhausting
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
