I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
