that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize