love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
