ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
