How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
