Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
