gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
