The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
