God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
