I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
