She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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