if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
