Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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