first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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