josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
