There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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