dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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