My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize