Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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