It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
