it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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