I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
