at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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