New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
