If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
