Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
