its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My vagina just clenched in fear
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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