So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
