My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
did i walk over a car last night?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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