dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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