I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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