I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
