Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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