ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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