seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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