the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
