his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
