did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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