I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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