So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
