i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
