and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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