All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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