i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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